On the finer things in life

Hi.

I guess when I sit here and reap and sow the proverbial ideas that have been swimming around my head this morning (It's water farming, highly ecological), it has lead me to believe I have entirely too much free time.

And I’ll explain why.

Why do porno flicks have background stories? Think about it. If Janet is struggling to join the cheerleading team or wants her big break as a movie star and has to resort to whatever means possible, is that any more Oscar worthy than amateur XXX webcam whatever-who-gives-a-shit-they’re-just-getting-it-on-in-su ch-a-fashion-as-to-seem-as-though-no-one-is-watching? Is there really some overweight guy out there with Coke bottle glasses getting off on the woman’s struggle to make it in a man’s world?

See what I mean?

Now, here’s another one: who’s responsibility is it to design the sets to some of these places? I mean, to a certain extent, there are those out there who take it as a real job, the “camera man,” the “stars,” and the “director,” and they may even make real “money,” but you know you’ve hit rock bottom as a designer if you’re setting up surfaces for people to just fuck each other off of. Albeit, a lot of the ones you see on the internet are just “amateur” videos, and those are probably just someone’s house. And of course, sometimes it’s just by the pool or on a bed. But the matching decors, the valor couches, the lights and dildos set up in just the right places? That’s real art technique.

And when it comes to money, is porn really a recession proof business? Tweenage boys and husbands sleeping on couches have to get off somehow. And for that matter, do independent industries that provide solid porn spoofs make nearly as much at night vision, blurry images? Can Edward Penishands really compete with Paris Hilton? Can The Bone Ranger triumph over Kim Kardashian?

And the music. Oh, God, really? I don’t understand. I could get something like Led Zeppelin or Marvin Gaye in the background (“Sexual Healing” is a GIVEN), but these obnoxious, repetitive loops? I mean, you’ve come really far from that garage band and playing in your parents’ basement when you get to write groovy tracks for Daisy Does Dallas.

That’s it.